//it's all part of the glamourous world of vampire slayage\\ -- Quotes


Some of my favorite Buffy quotes from the earlier seasons. I like them... But then again I am easliy amused =)


Spike: A Slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure

Xander: You wanna talk fun? Public bus. You meet the funnest people.

Buffy: You can trust some guys. Really, I've read about them

Xander: Hey, you're not the Watcher of me

Giles: That was bracing
Buffy: Interesting lady. Can we kill her?
Giles: I think the Council might frown upon that

Cordelia: What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?
Buffy: It was an accident!
Xander: What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?

Angelus: You can see all that in your head?
Spike: No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper

Spike: It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big

Kendra: In case de curse does not succeed, dis is my lucky stake. I have killed many vampires wit it. I call it Mr. Pointy
Buffy: You named your stake?
Kendra: Yes.
Buffy: Remind me to get you a stuffed animal.

Giles: Xander?
Xander: Can you walk?
Giles: You're not real.
Xander: Sure, I'm real.
Giles: It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want.
Xander: Then why would they make you see me?
Giles: You're right. Let's go.

Oz: But we know the world didn't end, 'cause...check it out.

Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Spike: This should be a kick.
Buffy: I violently dislike you.

Anya: Xander! You said you wanted to check the board at the unemployment office this morning. (Looks under the covers at Xander.) You can't go like that. They won't even interview you if you're naked.

Xander: Spike's working for Adam?! After all we've done — Nah, I can't even act surprised.

Buffy: Xander!
Willow: Oh, wonderful Xander!
Buffy (while giving a group hug): You know we love you, right?
Willow: We totally do.
Xander: Oh God, we're gonna die, aren't we?

Xander: Hey, evil dead, you're in my seat.
Anya: Xander, I think you may have hurt his feelings.
Xander: You should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer. You know, that's actually some pretty good advice.

Xander: The point is, I work hard for that money.
Spike: And you're saying I didn't?
Xander: You stole it!
Spike: And you're making it into very hard work!

Harmony (pretending to be Buffy): Ooh, I'm gonna stake you! I'm coming after you, you bad, evil vampire! And I'm gonna slay you! I'm sneaking up, and I'm gonna stake you so much with my slaying powers that I have because I'm the chosen— (Spike interrupts by pouncing on her passionately.)

Dawn: I feel safe with you.
Spike: *cough cough* Take that back!

*Spike offers Buffy his flask* Buffy: Ew.
Spike: It's not blood, it's bourbon.
Buffy (slower and with emphasis): Eeewww.

Buffy (after Spike opens door for her): What are you doing?
Spike: I... I... was... I wasn't thinking.
Buffy: What is this?
Spike: Oh, don't get your knickers twisted, I was—
Buffy: What is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask! Is this a date?
Spike: A d— please! A date! You are completely off your bird! I mean— (he changes tone) Do you want it to be?
Buffy (disgusted): Oh my God!

Spike: Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you. And if that means turning my back on the whole evil—
Buffy: You don't know what you mean. You don't know what feelings are.
Spike: I damn well do! I lie awake every night—
Buffy: You sleep during the day!
Spike: Yeah but— you are missing the point. This is real here. I lov—
Buffy: Don't! Don't say it. I'm going.
Spike: We need to talk—
Buffy: We don't need to do anything! Okay? There is no we! Understand.
Spike: Buffy. . .
(Buffy walks out and slams the door behind her.)

Harmony: What the heck is this? Who is— Oh wait, I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning. Now you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Droodzilla. Well, you'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking, because my answer is the same as always — no threesomes unless it's boy-boy-girl. Or Charlize Theron.

Joyce: Honey, did you somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Send him signals?
Buffy: Well, I do beat him up a lot. For Spike, that's like third base.

Spike: I love you.
Buffy (looking away, sickened): Oh my God.
Spike (lifting her chin): No, look at me. I love you. You're all I bloody think about... dream about. You're in my gut... in my throat... I'm drowning in ya Summers, drowning.

Spike: Just give me something, a crumb, the barest smidgen. Tell me maybe, someday, there's a chance.
Buffy: Spike... the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.

Spike (shouting): Aaaarrrggghh! Gaaagggghhhhhh! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?
Buffy: Which question do you want me to answer first

Buffy: What part of me punching you in the face did you not understand?

Xander: Buffy, do you ever think the reason you haven't found a great relationship on the Hellmouth is because it's a Hellmouth?

Tara: Willow's good with all that computer stuff, but me not so much. Do you really understand all that?
Anya: Oh, at first it was confusing. Just the idea of computers was like — whoa! I'm eleven hundred years old! I had trouble adjusting to the idea of Lutherans.
Tara: I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad. It's... depressing.

Anya: Anyway, I took the money from working for Giles, and I tripled it.
Tara: Tripled? Like, first money, then money money money?
Anya: Yes. I'm thinking about buying something very expensive. Maybe an antelope.

Spike: Thought I was gonna leave town? It's a free country. Free party. If you want me to leave, you can put your hands on my hot, tight little body and make me.

[my fav anya-xander quote of all time]
Xander (distracted by April): Who's that?
Anya: Oh, that girl. Tara and I met her. She speaks with a strange evenness and selects her words a shade too precisely.
Xander (looking fondly at Anya): Some of us like that kind of thing in a girl.

Buffy: I don't know about you guys, but I've had it with super-strong little women who aren't me.

Giles: Dear god, Buffy, there's only so much I can take. We're going to have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old's too old to be babysat, and it's not fair on her.
Buffy: What'd she make you do?
Giles: Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance. Then we ate cookie dough, and talked about boys.
Buffy (laughing): I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my "fun time Buffy party night" involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window, so if you wanna trade... no... wait... I wouldn't give that memory up for anything.

Giles: And you're certain she was a robot?
Buffy: Absolutely.
Tara: Well, she practically had "Genuine Molded Plastic" stamped on her ass. (The gang looks at her, surprised.) Just tryin' a little spicy talk.

Tara: Oh, do you have any books on robots?
Giles: Oh, yes, dozens. There's an enormous amount of research we should do before— no, I'm lying. I haven't got squat, I just like to see Xander squirm.

Xander: She's a sex bot. I mean, what guy doesn't dream about that? Beautiful girl with no other thought but to please you, willing to do anything. (He gets strange looks from the group.) Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but he'd get it.

Spike: You know there are quite a few American beers that are highly underrated. This, unfortunately, is not one of them.

Spike: Um, won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady herself. (opens the chest, begins taking stuff out)
Buffy: We're not all gonna make it. You know that.
Spike: Yeah.
(He takes a few weapons from the chest and walks back toward Buffy.)
Spike: Hey. Always knew I'd go down fightin'.
Buffy: I'm counting on you ... to protect her.
Spike: Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight.
Buffy: I'll be a minute.
Spike: Yeah.
(Buffy turns to go up the stairs. Spike watches her go.)
Spike: I know you'll never love me.
(Buffy pauses halfway up the stairs, turns back to look at Spike.)
Spike: I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's...
(Buffy gazes silently at him.)
Spike: Get your stuff, I'll be here.